Get Help

There is hope.
You do not have to be tied to the addictions that try to enslave you.
My world has been darkened by another's lusts.
You do not have to hurt those you love by allowing lust to replace intimacy.
Don't walk this road of pain any longer.

Take it from a victim:  pornography does not satisfy; it only destroys.

A World of Echoes and Shadows

The fog has thickened.  I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Where is God when my spouse's eyes, heart, and soul are tied to images on a screen?  Where is He when sacred vows are displaced by lust and imagination?  Where is He when my trust is thrashed about and torn into a million pieces by a lie?

Who do I turn to?

The Chains That Bind Us

My man's chains consist of invisible links.  At least they are invisible to me.  They are chains of images:  on a computer screen, on a billboard, in a magazine, and in his mind. 

His chains bind me as well.  They have put a weight on our marriage that is almost unbearable at times.

The darkness closes in, and what will I say?
Leave me, my love, and always stay away?
Do not embrace me, lest your pain become mine,
But take it to another place, leaving me behind.

I cannot say these words,
I do not feel them in my heart.
But what can I do with all this pain,
That tears my soul apart?

God, please break the chains,
That bind my husband's mind.
Help him give it all to you,
And leave this slavery behind.

The Darkness

I live within a prison cell, though without metal bars.  This place is visible--and yet, not.  It is a place of great pain and enormous joy.  There is some light, at times.  Mostly, though, it is an incarceration in inky blackness.

My imprisonment began the day of the admission:  he is an addict.  The man I married and have entrusted with my heart truly loves me.  But he also loves others.  Some have names; some, are strangers.  They have faces and bodies that are unattainable.  Yet he longs for them.

I remember the days when he longed only for me.

Maybe someday, those days will be mine again.